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Alt-Right Cancels San Francisco Rally After People Lay Minefield Of Dog Turd

A neo-nazi rally planned for Saturday has been canceled after learning that hundreds of San Franciscans lined up Crissy Field, the picturesque beach in the shadow of the Golden Gate Bridge where the right-wing group Patriot Prayer would gather, with a generous carpeting of dog excrement.

“I just had this image of alt-right people stomping around in the poop,” Tuffy Tuffington said of the epiphany he had while walking Bob and Chuck, his two Patterdale terriers, and trying to think of the best way to respond to rightwing extremists in the wake of Charlottesville. “It seemed like a little bit of civil disobedience where we didn’t have to engage with them face to face.”

Following the report, alt-right organizers apparently got intimidated by what they called “a minefield of dog turds” and called off the event.

In a 17 minute video, organizers said they also feared the rally would turn into a “riot,” blaming groups like antifa for threatening violence ahead of the rally as well as public officials for providing improper security.

The organizer of the highly-publicized counter-action called off their canine plans upon hearing of the cancellation.

“I’ve received a lot of threats against me, my dogs and dogs in general from some very interesting people!” said organizer Tuffy Tuffinton. “So if you go just be aware of your surroundings. The coverage of this counter-action has been incredible. The story has been picked up in Mexico, Slovakia, Poland, Germany, the UK and all over the US. Our message has definitely been heard! I still plan in participating in clean-up efforts Sat night (if possible) and Sunday so I hope to see you all there. Thank you for all of the wonderful messages of support and to all of your good dogs!”

I can’t imagine the world without dogs.

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