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Here Are The Biggest Assholes Who Lost The Midterm

Democrats took the House in last Tuesday’s midterm election. It was a huge night for Democrats, who also picked seven governors seats, three in red states.

But the election results suggested no clear narratives about the blue wave as Republicans bolstered their Senate majority. America’s most repulsive senator, Ted Cruz, held onto his seat in deep-red Texas by the skin of his teeth, edging out the charming Democratic up-and-comer Beto O’Rourke. (“If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you,” fellow Republican Lindsey Graham once joked of his colleague’s popularity.)

Yeah, Ted Cruz might have won, but a lot of other fuckheads lost last Tuesday night, proving that there is justice in the world, inconsistent though it may be.

Let’s take a look at all the assholes who deserved to lose, and actually did:

Scott Walker
Although he hasn’t conceded yet, Scott Walker, the two-term Republican governor of Wisconsin and former presidential hopeful, lost to Democrat Tony Evers by a slim 1-point margin. Walker is a notoriously anti-union conservative, who signed a bill that ended public workers’ collective bargaining rights in his state. In response to his loss, Richard Trumka, the president of the AFL-CIO, released a terse statement: “Scott Walker was a national disgrace.” Note the past tense.

Kris Kobach
Republican Kris Kobach lost the race for Kansas governor to Democrat Laura Kelly. Kobach made a name for himself as the head of Trump’s very crooked and now-defunct “Voter Fraud Commission,” created to affirm the president’s bogus claims that millions of undocumented immigrants voted in the 2016 election.

Kim Davis

The Kentucky county clerk who became famous for hating the idea of gay people getting married so much she went to jail rather than issue a marriage license to two men won’t get the chance to deny anyone anything again after losing to Democrat Elwood Caudill Jr.

Dana Rohrabacher

A staunch Trump supporter, Rohrabacher is best known as “Putin’s favorite congressman” thanks to his baffling fondness for Russia. He has represented California’s Orange County in Congress since 1989, but on Tuesday, he lost his seat to Democrat Harley Rouda, thank God.

Dave Brat

Far-right congressman Dave Brat lost his Virginia House seat to Democrat Abigail Spanberger in a close race. Brat has been called as “the poster child for the Tea Party,” and came to political prominence when he won the Republican primary against House Majority leader Eric Cantor in 2014, one of the signs back then the GOP was turning hard to the right.

In 2017, Brat complained, “Since Obamacare and these issues have come up, the women are in my grill no matter where I go. They come up—‘When is your next town hall?’ And believe me, it’s not to give positive input.”

In Spanberger’s victory speech, she said, “We won an unwinnable district by doing exactly what every campaign should do. We focused on the needs of the people, the voters.”

Jason Lewis

Lewis, the Republican representative for Minnesota’s second district, once complained that he can’t call women “sluts” anymore. “It used to be that women were held to a little bit of a higher standard. We required modesty from women. Now, are we beyond those days where a woman can behave as a slut, but you can’t call her a slut?” he said.

Aside from his weird Russia stuff, Rohrabacher has a slew of abhorrent ideas. Earlier this year, he said he thought homeowners should be allowed to refuse to sell their houses to gay and lesbian buyers. He also apparently told an undocumented activist, “I hate illegals!” and suggested he could have her deported.

Anyhow, he’s an asshole and I’m glad he lost.

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